


"Of Clothes and Knees" & "I Know Everything Already: I.K.E.A"

by ketomax, TheCephalopodAgency



Series: FrostIron Prompts [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, tony buys some ikea furniture and loki watches him attempt to build it, tony is made to tidy up and loki has a god complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23493649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ketomax/pseuds/ketomax, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCephalopodAgency/pseuds/TheCephalopodAgency
Summary: Two fics from two wonderful people-One is a crack piece, the other slightly sexy- both are frostiron pieces!Slight god complex Loki & frustrated Tony in both.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: FrostIron Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690357
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	"Of Clothes and Knees" & "I Know Everything Already: I.K.E.A"

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote my piece to shame my partner into tidying their shelving full of clothing. (I also wrote Tony's room as a trash pit in another fic I'm working on, and it shamed me so hard I had to tidy my room- and then my partner was like "Can you do that for me too?") and then I asked for something in return.
> 
> She wrote me this IKEA fun time piece and I loved it so much I asked if I could post them both as a little collection.

**Of Clothes an** **d** **Knees**

Loki found the state of disarray alarming. Nowhere on Asgard looked like this… whatever _this_ was. He prodded a shelf full of discarded laundry and pulled a face, concerned. This room was supposed to be Tony’s private sanctuary, his retreat, and yet it looked like a ten year old was left unsupervised for weeks on end. He distinctly remembered Thor’s bedroom area looking vaguely similar, but with the clothes replaced with weapons and discarded bits of armor.

“You know, Stark, you’re supposed to keep your personal space in… a neat and orderly fashion,” Loki remarked as he turned around to face him, noticing yet more shelves filled with… laundry. “I don’t think that is the proper usage for-”

“Suddenly an expert on Midgardian storage solutions, huh? Surprising me more every day,” Tony quipped and looked over his shoulder at him, “Listen I don’t need you telling me how to live my life. I just have too much going on.”

Loki raised an eyebrow, “Since when did you start calling yourself Midgardian? That’s not a word you usually use for yourself…” his eyes drifted to look at the pile of clothes on the shelf again and he picked one up, holding it out to Tony. “Come on, Midgardian, tidy for your god.”

“ _My_ god? Oh, you’re in trouble now mister. Big trouble,” Tony took the t-shirt out of Loki’s hand and whacked him in the side with it, “Well given that I saw literal aliens and lived, I figured calling ourselves ‘people’ was a bit… narrow minded, you know? Just trying to be-”

A quick hand moved to swipe the entire shelf of clothes and Loki looked at Tony with a wide grin, so very close to getting what he wanted. “Oh, no. Who would do such a thing… a real shame, that is. Looks like you will have to tidy those as well. Best get a move on, Anthony.”

Tony narrowed his eyes at Loki, finally clocking on to what the god wanted. Tidying, yes, but something else first. “Oh, you are ridiculous.” He kept his eyes on him and sank to his knees to gather his clothes, watching the glint in Loki’s eyes sparkle even moreso. “Happy now?”

“Oh, yes. Very. Midgardians always look so good on their knees,” his hand reached out to toy with the light wisps of grey in Tony’s hair, twirling them around his finger. “Very nice indeed.”

Tony looked up at him, eyebrow cocked in mild amusement, “Not about to go all overlord again are we? I’m all for fun and games in the bedroom, but I’d really rather not have to publicly kick your ass… again.” He smirked and gathered up his clothes, standing up again and giving Loki a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off to dump his clothes in the laundry chute. He paused, turning around as he closed the chute door, “And don’t toy with the grey bits like that. Makes me feel old.” Tony soon grinned and finally began to tidy the clothes in his room, under the watchful eye of the trickster god.

* * *

**I Know Everything Already (I.K.E.A)**

“I am not building this with my hands.” Loki glared over the top of the instruction book. “This is beneath me.”  
  
“Nobody is beneath IKEA, snowflake.”  
  
“Do not call me that.”  
  
“Just grab a screwdriver, buttercup, this cabinet won’t assemble itself.”  
  
“It’s not even a cabinet, the instructions say this a bed.”

Tony reached over the mess of boards and screws on the floor and plucked the instructions out of Loki’s hands.  
  
“Hey. I was reading that.” He complained flatly.  
  
“You don't need to read the instructions, if I can build my Iron Man suits I can build a table.”  
  
“Bed.”  
  
“Table, bed, chair, whatever.” He tossed the book over his shoulder. Loki watched it smack against the wall and fall to the floor with disinterest.  
  
“Alright, Stark, if you’re so certain,” He crossed his legs and leaned back against the couch. For about an hour he watched Tony try and fail to assemble the bed. He did an admiral job of not losing his patience once, despite the amount of times he had to take something apart and move it elsewhere. Loki finally took pity on him mostly out of boredom and cleared his throat to get Tony’s attention.

“Have you given up yet, Stark?”  
  
As much as Tony hated to say it, the precariously crafted tower of wood that in no way resemble any form of furniture at all, let alone a bed frame, was an absolute failure. How? He’d built his first suit in a cave with basically nothing but scraps. He should have been able to build a single bed frame chair table whatever it was with ease.

“I… n-no..”  
  
“I can tell you’re lying.”  
  
Tony groaned. “Fine, I can’t build the chairdesktablebed without instructions. Don’t look so smug, I don’t care if you’re a god I don't think anyone could build one of these even with the instructions.”  
  
“Certainly not. They are incomplete instructions, after all.” Loki stood and stretched his arms over his head. “Though I must say I’m impressed with your progress. Not even Thor could easily build this far _with_ instructions, and he's the CEO of IKEA.”  
  
_Wait Thor was the what of IKEA now?  
  
_“Congratulations, you did something not even Thor could do in hundreds of years in just under an hour.” Loki clapped with mock politeness.

“Hang on hold up wait just a second. What do you mean _Thor_ is the CEO of IKEA??”  
  
Loki smirked. “And who do you think designed all the furniture, Stark?”  
  
Tony gasped. ” _You_.”  
  
“That’s right, Stark.” He snapped his fingers in a flash of light, the bed assembled itself properly. Tony looked at Loki, then the bed, then Loki again.  
  
“But- Why? How?? You-- You could never start a business with Thor, you can’t even--”  
  
“Be in the same room without stabbing him?” Loki finished. Tony nodded. “It all began many, many years ago, when Thor and I were still on good terms. Thor wanted to open the first furniture store on Asgard, and naturally, I wanted in on it.” Tony wasn't sure when or how Loki had gotten the instructions back in his had, but suddenly Loki was holding the book open under Tony's nose. “Look at this beautiful chaos, Stark, and tell me my name isn’t between the lines.  
  
“I literally can't believe this. I feel like my whole life has been a lie and this is the proof. What the fuck. And you just sat there and _watched me embarrass myself the whole time too._ ”  
  
“As if I would do anything else?”

“But you said it was beneath you.. I don’t understand…”  
  
“I said building it with my _hands_ was beneath me. I didn't say I wouldn't design the most chaotic method of furniture assembly that could easily be accomplished with magic, but not by handheld tools.”

Tools like a hammer? Tony narrowed his eyes, squinting at Loki with suspicion.  
  
“Yes, yes I can tell what you’re thinking. I made this specifically unable to be put together with a hammer. And after all this time, Thor still hasn't been able to assemble a single object of my design.”  
  
“Okay, so Thor owns IKEA. You design all the furniture. Why did Thor want a furniture store in the first place? He doesn't scream carpentry _or_ businessman to me.”  
  
“There was a job fair,” Loki shrugged. “And Thor has always had a fascination with hammers. See, back then, he was still too small to pick up Mjölnir, he would often mope about the palace after trying to lift it. He saw the carpenter's hammer and fell in love. Literally. It was his first crush.”  
  
“You’re joking.”  
  
“No, we had to stage an intervention. That was a dark day,” Loki muttered to himself.


End file.
